Command Joy by Healing Now

“I’m sure it’s fine.” The doctor said. “It will be okay, everything will be fine.” I heard these words as I sat in a doctor’s office for the third time in three months. “With the holiday Monday and with the doctor going on vacation, it might take us 10-15 business days to diagnosis this.”

Great. So I may have skin cancer. But I may not. As I was leaving the doctor’s office, I knew that I had 10 days in front of me to anxiously await the results of my test. 10 Days. 10 DAYS.

As I made the slow walk back to my car and got out my keys, I thought through my two options.

• Option 1: Freak out and stress out. Feel confident that I am going to die. Write my bucket list. Stuff my face with ice cream and cake and cookies. Cry. Quit my job. Do first thing on my bucket list immediately.

• Option 2: Relax. Try to learn from this experience. Feel the fear. Embrace the unknowingness. Love the situation for what it is. Get quiet and meditate. Focus inward and listen to my inner guidance. Visualize myself as a healthy, happy person.

When I got home, I sat silently on my couch and contemplated the roller coaster of emotions that I was confident I would experience for the next 10 days. I weighed out the two options in my mind. Do I give up and accept Option 1? Do I try to calm myself down and strive to be like Option 2?

I realized that I was going to go through a little bit of Option 1 and a little bit of Option 2.

There was no denying it. I may be an emotional mess for the next 10 days. Crap. I am the one who is always happy and positive. People are counting on me to lift them up. I have to get myself together. I can’t let them down!

As I started listening to myself judge that I was going to be a mess for the next 10 days, I worked on quieting the self judgement.

I decided to give myself a break. I decided it was okay if I wasn’t going to be all sunshine and roses and happy go lucky for a couple of weeks.

No matter what the results are, I can control one part of my health. I can commit to having some love and compassion for myself.
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I realized that we all have a healer within each of us. We can all Command Joy by Healing Now. We can  start by healing our relationship with ourselves.