Confidently Making Things Happen

Confidently Making Things Happen
I have heard it been said that there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who confidently believe they can make things happen. And those who confidently believe things happen to them.

Those that think they can make things happen are committed to the idea that the outcome of their lives is in their own hands. And they wouldn’t have it any other way.

The others take more of a sidelines / warming the bench approach—they sit around and wait for the Coach to notice them and call them up to play.

Psychologists have studied this and have learned that overwhelmingly, the people who are Confidently Making Things Happen feel that they control the events in their lives (more than the events control them) and are confident in their abilities. They end up doing better on nearly every important measure of performance in both their personal and professional lives.

In these studies, the individuals that were Confidently Making Things Happen were found to do the following:

1. Sell more than other employees and give better customer service
2. Adjust more easily to new assignments and challenges
3. Make an average of 50 to 150% more in annual income
4. Have a happier home environment

For Better or for Worse

Of course, when things are going smoothly and sales are rolling in, nearly all of us believe we can take on the world. The difference is that the Confidently Making Things Happen group don’t get overwhelmed. No matter if they work on the production floor or in the C-suite – when s$%^ hits the fan, and it always will, they don’t get overwhelmed.

Just like us, the Confidently Making Things Happen group feel intense stress and anxiety when hard times come their way.
But they view this anxiety through a different lens.

Since the Confidently Making Things Happen group believe that they have control over the outcomes in their lives, their anxiety:

• fuels passion instead of pity
• sparks drive instead of despair
• fosters tenacity over trepidation

Whether the Confidently Making Things Happen group find themselves looking at a depleting bank account, being on the receiving end of a scathing performance review, or staring yet another college rejection letter in the face, they refuse to wave the white flag and give up. Instead, they redouble their efforts.

What is Happening?
Here’s the deal. Anxiety is a necessary emotion. Our brains are hard-wired such that it’s difficult to take action until we feel some level of anxiety (also called stress). Studies have proven that our performance peaks under moderate levels of anxiety.

Key word: moderate.

What the Confidently Making Things Happen people do is keep their anxiety within optimal levels in order to achieve top performance. 

Intellectually we all know too much stress is bad for us. Our emotional health suffers because we have complete meltdowns which impact our self esteem and the relationships around us. Our physical health suffers because our bodies are tense, uptight, rigid. We hold on and hold on and hold on to all that stress.  Meanwhile, our immune systems decline and we find ourselves getting frequent colds or worse.

So, we know all of this, but we STILL don’t do a great job of reducing our stress levels. What gives? How is it that we know stress is bad but we don’t do anything about it?!?!

As it turns out, researchers know why. What they found is that intense stress actually reduces the volume of gray matter in the areas of the brain responsible for self-control. As we deplete our self-control, we stop being able to cope with stress.

We are more likely to create stressful situations in our lives (such as overreacting to people). This has a tornado like effect, and as we experience greater and greater levels of stress, we can completely burn out (depression, obesity, dropping dead from a heart attack).

So What to Do?
The Confidently Making Things Happen people know that if we don’t have the tools in place to keep our anxiety in check, we will never realize our full potential.

So what do these people do? They know that stress and anxiety is going to happen. Instead of avoiding it, they get better at managing it. It’s inevitable that we will feel stress when facing difficult and uncertain situations.
We just need to follow the things that Confidently Making Things Happen do to keep their anxiety from taking over.

BRACE FOR CHANGE

• People change. Businesses fail. It’s a fact. Even Confidently Making Things Happen people have found themselves divorced and out of work. Their relationships and companies have fallen on tough times.
• The difference is that the Confidently Making Things Happen believe they are fully capable of dealing with changes and making something positive happen.
• Confidently Making Things Happen people are mentally ready for changes. We can be too.
• One way we can face this anxiety head on is to create a list of changes that we think could possibly happen. This isn’t meat to make things seem all loom and doom. This will open our minds to change. It will sharpen our ability to spot impending changes. Even if the events on our lists never happen, the practice of anticipating and prepping for change will give us a greater sense of control.

FOCUS ON OUR FREEDOMS

• Life isn’t fair. Bad things happen to good people. That’s true. But instead of withering away in despair, we do have the freedom to choose our response to the bad things that happen to us.
• From our list of possible changes that could happen, we can think of positive ways to take action and respond to each change. Confidently Making Things Happen people realize how much control we can have in response to seemingly uncontrollable circumstances.

THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS

• Confidently Making Things Happen people know how to stop negative self-talk in its tracks. Here’s the deal. Most of what we think on a day to day basis isn’t true or real. Our brains are like a ping pong match – constantly throwing thoughts around, going back and forth. Some with more force than others. 
• Thoughts are not facts. So we have to stop treating them like they mean anything.
• When our inner voice starts telling us pessimistic things, Confidently Making Things Happen people stop and write them down. Once we take a moment to slow down the negative momentum of our thoughts, we can look at them objectively.
• The thoughts that start with “never,” “worst,” or “ever” are usually not the truth. That is just our ping pong brain throwing different thoughts out there.
• Identify our thoughts as thoughts and nothing else. Then we can escape the cycle of negativity and anxiety and move toward a positive new outlook.

ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

• Confidently Making Things Happen people take time to list out what they are grateful for. They know that this lessens anxiety.  
• Finding three things everyday that we are grateful for can help improve our mood and energy, leading us to experience less anxiety.

Now I would love to hear from YOU! In the comments below, tell me, how will you start or have you been Confidently Making Things Happen?