Command Joy Now by Making up with Someone you Love

Let’s talk about make up tips.  No, not the stuff we paint on our face. When we have fights with people we care about and love, figuring out how to make up with them is hard.

Friends know us like no one else  - we’ve told them our deepest secrets, they’ve been there for us through good times and bad, they have been a constant source of support in our life.

Yet we fight. We scream. We cry. We give each other the silent treatment. We then eventually realize that the fight isn’t worth losing our friendship over.

So when we want to make up, there are some things we can think about and do to make it all okay.

• Look inside. We often project on our current relationships things that may have happened to us in the past. Whether it is repeating a relationship with our parents or siblings, we tend to replicate our previous experiences. So we have to take a closer look inside and make sure we are happy with ourselves, before we can be happy with anyone else.

• See things from their perspective. It is hard for us to put ourselves in other people’s shoes, especially when we are in a huge fight from one small misunderstanding, but it is important. Figuring out how exactly what we did and how our friend was hurt will help us understand what’s really going on. No matter how mature we think we are, few of us fight fairly. Thinking about how the other person feels will also help us avoid doing the same thing in the future.

•  Is it worth saving the friendship? People come into our lives at certain times to help us grow. But sometimes we outgrow our friends. There are points in our lives when we may evaluate the relationship and think “you know what, this just isn’t worth my time or energy anymore.” And it may not be. It might be time to just walk away. It is good to re-evaluate the people we surround ourselves with. And sometimes we can say it isn’t working for us anymore. And that’s okay! Repeat after me “it’s okay to walk away”
  

• Make up. Once we you decide that we are fully ready to make up with someone, do it in person While we may feel embarrassed about what we said or did, if we make a real, true solid attempt to work things out, the better. As with everything in life, if we let too much time pass or we let things fester on for too long, it will only make things worse.

• Agree to disagree. When meeting back up with friends to talk, sometimes it’s not worth re-hashing every minor detail of the disagreement or  going over the conflict again and again. Instead, we can take a different approach and just say “I am willing to put this behind us, the future of our relationship means more to me than this conflict. Can we start fresh, move past this, and not talk about it anymore?"
  

•  Celebrate. Having friendships is important for our mental and physical health. People with strong friendships have been shown to live longer. So it is actually good for your health to make up with friends!

Now, we would love to hear from you! Tell me, in the comments below, how has making up with someone helped you in your relationships? What did you learn?